Do you think men have very different orgasmic experiences at the rugby club?

There’s huge diversity and watching the after the match rugger cumm videos on your site, I’m struck by the number of different ways rugby men ejaculate their cumm. There’s guys that just casually shoot like a supersoaker, there’s intense dribblers. there’s stoic masturbators who just kind of grunt and grin, and dudes that seem to have out of body experiences. there are guys that seem multi-orgasmic. there are edgers, and there are guys who cum quick 5 times a day. Anon

Do I think men have very different orgasmic experiences ? I don’t think so. I am convinced of this. I am very pleased the various videos on my blog made you notice the wide variety of sexual pleasure in men. Male sexual pleasure is not any more mechanical than the female’s. Just as much, the male sexual pleasure varies widely in intensity and quality.

A major difference between male and female pleasure is the reliability of the male arousal process : whether or not he’s sexually satisfied or even willing, a man exposed to a penis-focussed stimulation is “99 % certain” to ejaculate. This means that the presence of semen at the end of a sexual encounter cannot be used as a measure of a man’s sexual satisfaction. And since even a raped man will ejaculate, ejaculation cannot even be used as an evaluation of man’s willingness to have sex in the first place. Ejaculation is not orgasm. Between men, the amount of cum expelled cannot be used as a marker of satisfaction either, although it can be for a given man, when comparing various orgasmic episodes with each other, even though many other factors will also influence the amount of semen expelled.

While making oneself ejaculate can be a very mechanical thing indeed, true sensual sex (solo or in duo) is a totally different thing. Sexual pleasure is not a penis thing, but a mind thing. A man’s personality, mind set, beliefs, self-acceptance will influence his sexual experience. Just as well, how he feels loved and respected will greatly influence the quality of his sexual pleasure. Ejaculation, however nice, is only one part of the orgasm. Once again, the orgasm is not a penis thing, it is a mind thing. The neurologic links between the sexual organs are the same for men and women : we all began our lives with undifferentiated sexual organs in our first ten weeks of life as a foetus. All the neurological pathways between our brain and what would be our future sexual organs were already built by the time our body finally began differentiating into a male or a female. Our sex organs have even remained similar enough that the female and the male organs equivalents can be mapped and are still found in adults of both sexes. How we use our sex organs are totally different, however, because — oh what a shocking revelation — they ended up looking so different ! The penis being so easily accessible, so relatively big and so sensitive, it is normal that men tend to focus on it when looking for sexual pleasure. The penis’s size, accessibility, sensitivity as well as its reliability quickly dwarf the rest of the body’s sexual interest and boys rapidly learn to focus on their penis when looking for sexual pleasure.

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The penis is comprised of two neurologically distinct zones : the shaft and the glans. Circumcised men have been surgically deprived of most of their shaft’s sensitivity, and this greatly influences the kind of orgasm they experience, how they masturbate and even how they move during duo sex, as the “shaft zone” of their brain doesn’t get stimulated as it does in complete/uncircumcised men. Isolated shaft stimulation or isolated glans stimulation will both allow a man to experience an orgasm. While these two different kinds of penis stimulation will both end with an ejaculation, both will yield orgasms that feel very different.

There are other sensual zones, equivalents of the female’s other sensual areas. These other sensual zones come with the same caveat as their female counterparts, which is their lack of reliability, but do generate very qualitatively different kinds of pleasures. A man experiencing anal orgasm experiences a kind of orgasm that can be likened to vaginal orgasm : a blurry, long, full-body experience that’s an acute contrast to the clear, sharp, penis-centred orgasm. 

I remember distinctly how simplistic male pleasure appeared to be in my sex education books compared to female sexual pleasure. Basically, it was a one or two-sentence description centred around ejaculation, while female pleasure was described and discussed over multiple paragraphs. From this, it was easy to infer that male sex was a robotic event, devoid of sensuality and volition. This simplistic and reductive understanding of the male’s sexual pleasure is detrimental for both men and women, as men’s sexual pleasure is much more than just an ejaculation. Although men and women may not express their emotions always in the same manner, men are as emotional as women. masturbatorsanctum

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