A young man asked on Quora, Can men have wet dreams about men? Does this mean I am gay?
Aside from all the white noise on this page, which is at best intellectually disingenuous, the short answers are: yes they can, and yes it usually means that you are either gay or bisexual. A ‘wet dream’ is defined as a dream that does not only involve dreaming about a sexual act, but also enjoying it to the point of sexual arousal, in its classical sense it meant reaching ejaculation while asleep. As a gay male I have never ever had a sexual dream about women, not only that but once I dreamt that a girl kissed me and the feeling in my dream was one of disgust. Not sexual arousal. If I would have had experienced sexual arousal, I would have explored those feelings. Now, if you are indeed gay then you will sooner or later be compelled by your own desires to acknowledge them, even if you suppress them (as many gay men do), but if you are bisexual then you can follow the strategy employed by a great many bisexual men: you can ignore them and live in denial. Is this a life worth living? Well, not in my book.
As to what defines sexual orientation (not identity which is an other issue), the single most important predictor and in fact the only predictor is sexual arousal in repose to someone of a particular biological sex. Humans are extremely good at lying to themselves, you can ask the many gay men and the many many bisexual men that have ever come out of the closet just how good they were at lying to themselves, not to mention others. But lying to our own physiological response is all but impossible, even when we genuinely hate our reaction. One line of research looks for example into the physiological sexual reaction Is homophobia associated with homosexual arousal? or psychological reaction-time Homophobes Might Be Hidden Homosexuals of men that identify as homophobic and entirely straight. In both cases, these reactions are used to identify their sexual orientation even as they themselves deny it. There are also other methods to asses the same implicit sexual orientation even as the person in question denies it Homophobia: An Impulsive Attraction to the Same Sex? Evidence From Eye-Tracking Data in a Picture-Viewing Task.
All in all, experiencing sexual arousal is nothing to be worried about, nor is the attraction it underlines. In fact, the single best thing you can do is try to be open to your own feelings and reactions. That way you may discover something about yourself that would otherwise remain hidden. I don’t know about you, but I would most certainly not like to live my life not knowing what I like and what I enjoy.
Open your Eyes, for this World is only a Dream. Rumi