grandpa wanking

homosexual in my mind

Dear Mr Cox, I have been with two women and raised 5 children and have always known that I was a homosexual in my mind I tried to fight it and tried to be str8 but never got over the fact that I love men all I have to do is think about a man any man and I get horny I love to suck dick and have never been fucked in the ass but will someday let a man the right man have my virgin ass.

I act str8 for the most part but can’t keep my eyes off of men I love checking them out I love everything you could imagine about men all races all sizes muscular hairy smooth skinny fat short tall dirty clean creepy looking dorks nerds old men ugly there is always something different and new that all of a sudden will turn me on about men the way one walks or if he sees me watching when he touches or scratches his dick or ass or rubs his chest or belly I see a lot because I am always checking out men.

I have different fantasies with certain men like most men I want to get my face all over their bodies in their hairy chest smelling their arm pits licking their ears sucking thier tounges licking butt holes oh my god a fat hairy ass I could spend days with my face buried in his crack and I love dick in my mouth a man sitting on top of my face with his dick in my mouth forcing me to take what ever he wants to do to in my mouth.  I found out that I loved sucking dick so much that I don’t gag any more Johnny

fucked bi fifty

One thought on “homosexual in my mind

  1. Hey Johnny…Lester B. here. I think many us on this site can and do appreciate how you feel, the desire, the longing to really “Be with another man”. What you’ve shared with us is heart felt, hopefully sincere, and I detect a request for help, or at least to be heard. Many of us hear you Johnny. You are not alone in your quest to find that amazing someone. From what you have written, I sense the deep desire, the painful want and need…these feelings are so real and are with you every awaking moment. I regret that I possess no compact, easy to apply answer. How wonderful that you are the father of five ! That is amazing…and in my view, a gift from God! And here arrives the most difficult of questions you must ask yourself: At what point do I own who I am? Do I go with what I need? To face the one’s I love with the statement..”I cannot lie to myself or to all of you anymore. I cannot lie about who I really am. And I have been…lying”. Johnny, the many decisions you are facing are almost too painful to speak of…and yet if you are ever to be the person the higher power wants you to be, you need to “Own who you Really are”. Again, I honestly wish I could mail you a self-help kit known as the ” Own and be ok with your own shit”. Wishful thinking! For what it’s worth, I recently saw a t-shirt with the statement: ” I’m fine with who I am. Your approval is not needed”. To take ownership of who you are today, and to who you have been in the past, mistakes and all, takes real courage! And much of this will turn your world and the world of your loved one’s upside down. For a period of time. I’m in no way making lite of what is likely to arrive at your door if you decide to speak your truth. I repeat…”To speak your truth”. And you are the only one who can honestly say just what that truth is. To look ahead…at the pain and damage that may occur and most likely will, is rough. Tear your guts out rough. Because you have people that are depending on you and won’t understand. But don’t rehearse what you think will or will not happen in your mind. That takes a truck load of energy! Try to live in the “Current moment”. Yes….so easy to say, but with practice it works! In closing, I hope something, anything I have written here tonight will, even in a small way, help you. There are many wonderful support groups available today. Maybe run some of your struggle by them. You need support. Please seek support. Don’t try to deal with this on your own. Support is out there. Sending you strength, kindness. Take care of yourself. Sincerely, Lester B. USA

Leave a Reply