I’m now 40 and have been having the same problem for all my live. I can’t tell about you for sure but it has probably nothing to do with blood circulation (at your age, very unlikely) but with anxiety and sensitivity. For example, I get rock hard when I’m fully relaxed and masturbating alone or if I’m totally comfortable with my sex partner. It can be very tricky in a world that is so cold with people expecting you to be some kind of machine coming out of a porn and when you want to do it in an “hostile” environment like cruising areas, saunas, etc. Also I noticed that with some men, even if I see them 10 times, I’ll never get hard and with some others, it works the first time. You click or you don’t and some people seem to be psychologically “castrating” in some way. Unfortunately, I’d say that you have to learn coping with it, benzos (anti-anxiety pills) don’t make it better and are a nightmare in the long run, pot opens imagination and sex drive but can worsen anxiety, alcohol is a road leading to flat dick and addiction. I’m sure a lot of gay men go bottom because it’s easier this way if you know what I mean. Personally, I feel alright about it now. I find my sex partners on the Internet and have them coming to my house, a place I am comfortable in and I tend to have long term fuck buddies because the more i know them the more I am at ease with them. One of the key is accepting that we are humans with emotions and sensitivity, that life is not a cheap porn and that you don’t have to be like everybody around. I hope it will get better for you and you’ll find your way. Good luck ! Lovedreamer

I feel you have reached into my very soul and understand me totally. I can stay rock hard wanking watching porn but get performance anxiety. I can perform on the spur of the moment but I rarely meet guys in case that soft bit in the middle happens. Also I advertise as bottom to be on the safe side. Thank you for making me feel I’m not alone

Lovedreamer

Thank you for this post. Happy to know it’s not only happening to me. I was in a very long term relationship that ended several years ago. I never had an issue with getting or maintaining an erection. I’m not ‘24’ but even now, when I’m alone and left to my own devices there’s no issue. I can masturbate 3 or 4 times a day. I’m on dating sites and I get several offers to connect. I’m sure guys think I’m not interested or feel rejected or ‘ghosted’ if I don’t respond or accept offers… when it’s my fear of not performing that holds me back. Oddly enough, when we chat and the conversation becomes sexual, I’m very turned on and it can progress to sexting. When there’s an invite to meet ‘live’ I find excuses not to meet. It’s very frustrating.

PFS

16 thoughts on “A Fucking Machine?

  1. I appreciated your post. At 70, I can still get really hard. Sometimes though, if I meet a man to play be it the park, ABS, theater etc, I have no problem getting and staying hard. Cumming is my problem. Sometimes the guy can get me to cum pretty quickly. Most times though, they give up. I suck several men, staying hard, but getting off myself is near impossible. I get home, and still hard can stroke myself off to a nice orgasm and a nice load. I’m not sure what it is, but I’m considering topping, see if that helps.

  2. Mark – What a wonderful statement, comment, speech, dissertation. I copied your remarks and ran it through my writer program. You came out with high marks. You are a good writer. I agree with you, when a woman enters the room, the mood changes. Throughout my life I have seen women come forward 5, 10, 15 or more years to degrade a male. My philosophy has been proven. Women tell; Men don’t. I would much rather be in a room of men than a room of cackelberry women. Thanks for a good read.

  3. Yeah this is a great conversation. I feel the same and long for another long term relationship but also if it’s open, that there are regular guys with familiar hotness. There is a lot to be said for sex not being a performance test, better seen as sexy fun between friends.
    To be really clear, we’re not talking about boring mum n dad sex in terms of familiar/comfortable.

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