I’m a married man in my 50’s: I have a JO buddy and I love it. We are very special friends and respect each other’s walk of life (he is gay). I used to look for JOB in the parks, but this is long ago. I tried to “escape” the feelings of wanting to be with another man doing it in an open space, with somebody I hardly could see his face. Now I do it with a man I feel a deep respect, with whom I can be naked in his bed and create a profound connection with. And most important: with somebody I can meet over and over again because I’m no longer afraid of my feelings. I do deserve respect to myself, I do deserve listening to my soul and not run away from my male’s nature. Because we are beautiful creatures, capable of intense connection with another male. It is a gift from Nature, maybe one of the most treasured ones.
We met years ago. For a long time we were just friends: we talked, both of us were just interested in each other’s lives. We knew that eventually, sex could be part of our friendship, but nothing was forced upon. Four a couple of years we lost contact and since about a year we started to see again. Sex started to be an intense part of our meetings. Slowly, I felt a liberation from my fears. He is a well endowed man and in my mindset, penetration was something I didn’t want to do. Too painful, but the real reason was that I felt completely vulnerable if penetrated. What “if” this was another touch and go experience? I didn’t want to trust just for nothing. We are both versatile and with an extreme care, he started to make me abandon my fears. Slowly, carefully, thinking in my pleasure and not only his. I surrendered completely. But not only. He made me trust back in my own ability to hold and erection to penetrate him. It was my fear not to be able to, for a number of physical and psychological reasons (they usually come in pairs). With him, I have experienced such a joy, such a profound liberation, such a complete feeling of masculinity I can hardly believe it existed. I have cried my guts with him. We have both grown as men, we both love each other. And we don’t demand anything but respect and sincerity. Just that. He accepts me with all I am and all I have. We are dearest friends, partners. We are not and don’t want to be a couple. I have built my life as a married man. It is my choice and I don’t owe any explanation to anybody. At the same time, I do deserve to be happy with all I am and with all my feelings.
I am the happiest man on EarthAndreas