I’m a married man in my 50’s: I have a JO buddy and I love it. We are very special friends and respect each other’s walk of life (he is gay). I used to look for JOB in the parks, but this is long ago. I tried to “escape” the feelings of wanting to be with another man doing it in an open space, with somebody I hardly could see his face. Now I do it with a man I feel a deep respect, with whom I can be naked in his bed and create a profound connection with. And most important: with somebody I can meet over and over again because I’m no longer afraid of my feelings. I do deserve respect to myself, I do deserve listening to my soul and not run away from my male’s nature. Because we are beautiful creatures, capable of intense connection with another male. It is a gift from Nature, maybe one of the most treasured ones.

We met years ago. For a long time we were just friends: we talked, both of us were just interested in each other’s lives. We knew that eventually, sex could be part of our friendship, but nothing was forced upon. Four a couple of years we lost contact and since about a year we started to see again. Sex started to be an intense part of our meetings. Slowly, I felt a liberation from my fears. He is a well endowed man and in my mindset, penetration was something I didn’t want to do. Too painful, but the real reason was that I felt completely vulnerable if penetrated. What “if” this was another touch and go experience? I didn’t want to trust just for nothing. We are both versatile and with an extreme care, he started to make me abandon my fears. Slowly, carefully, thinking in my pleasure and not only his. I surrendered completely. But not only. He made me trust back in my own ability to hold and erection to penetrate him. It was my fear not to be able to, for a number of physical and psychological reasons (they usually come in pairs). With him, I have experienced such a joy, such a profound liberation, such a complete feeling of masculinity I can hardly believe it existed. I have cried my guts with him. We have both grown as men, we both love each other. And we don’t demand anything but respect and sincerity. Just that. He accepts me with all I am and all I have. We are dearest friends, partners. We are not and don’t want to be a couple. I have built my life as a married man. It is my choice and I don’t owe any explanation to anybody. At the same time, I do deserve to be happy with all I am and with all my feelings.

I am the happiest man on Earth

Andreas

6 thoughts on “The Happiest Man on Earth

  1. Dear Andreas,
    I love your story of finding a partner that fulfills you and lets you enjoy all the aspects of your masculinity.
    I have many similarities to your experience, but I cannot figure out how to balance the relationship with my wife of thirty-something years, and the handful of out gay men I have formed relationships with. I can’t, of course, share any of my male relationships with my wife, or my facade of being a 100% heterosexual monogamous man would crumble- and I, like you, do not want the truth to be told.
    And while the gay men who have taken me to their home, their bed and sometimes their heart seem to be fine with me being married, I cannot complain of my marital frustrations or speak of my married life with them because a) I feel that I am betraying my wife in a way that is far worse than sharing my body with another man, and b) if I blend my two personas, the internal conflict renders me impotent.
    On top of all this, I leave these men feeling ashamed of myself because they made a brave choice to live their lives honestly, back in a time when it meant ostracism from your family and friends. And I…well I feel like a coward.
    So this is the reason that a blow job from a stranger in a park or a video booth or maybe their apartment, is my most sought after form if relief from my unfulfilled masculinity. I wish I could be more like you.

  2. Budismo dionisíaco
    tenho um amigo que quando jovem era muito bonito e paquerado, mas fugia dos encontros amorosos e por muito tempo viveu numa ascética busca espiritual reprimindo a própria libido. Demorou pra que ele superasse e transcendesse aquele condicionamento cristão de culpa e pecado em relação à sexualidade. Talvez ainda esteja se curando dessa noção atávica, milenar e equivocada. É preciso ter muito amor quanto a isso, se cuidar com carinho, ouvir e acolher a criança interior machucada. Porque pensando bem, no caminho da evolução espiritual não é preciso renunciar ao corpo, ao próprio instinto. Repressão não ajuda ninguém a evoluir.
    A prática diária da meditação no yoga tibetano tem lhe ajudado a se compreender e curar. Os tantos anos de trabalhos e jornadas terapêuticas de ayuhasca também o ajudaram muito a transcender seus limites. Tem sido um desafio grande se reeducar, se reinventar transformando velhos padrões, porém hoje já consegue mais que entender, sentir o sexo como uma bênção, um dom divino de Saúde, vigor e Alegria: sem que se machuque ninguém, com carinho, muito chamego, conexão e responsabilidade é manifestação saudável do Amor. Um poderoso impulso de vida.

    Dionysos, divindade da Grecia antiga – simbolo do teatro, da dança, do êxtase, a catarse e transcendência. Muito além da imagem romana de bebedeira e orgias, segundo já nos alertava Nietzsche; nos ensinava o dr Carl Jung e a psiquiatra brasileira, dra Nise da Silveira.

    Venha a nós a energia dionisíaca que na trilha da iluminação, nos resgate e equilibre do excesso de racionalidade do mundo atual, de tanto rigor na disciplina, tanto medo do instinto e distância do corpo.

    Consciência, Coragem pra viver, Saúde perfeita, plenitude no Amor e muita Alegria.

    Viva Afrodite,
    Eros e Dionysos !

    Romulo

    1. Hello Romulo, thank you for your words of wisdom. I hope you don’t mind, that I have translated with google.

      Dionysian Buddhism
      I have a friend who as a young man was very handsome and flirty, but he ran away from romantic encounters and for a long time lived in an ascetic spiritual quest, repressing his own libido. It took him a while to overcome and transcend that Christian conditioning of guilt and sin in relation to sexuality. Perhaps he is still healing from this atavistic, millennial and misguided notion. It takes a lot of love about it, taking care of yourself, listening and welcoming the hurt inner child. Because thinking about it, on the path of spiritual evolution it is not necessary to renounce the body, the instinct itself. Repression doesn’t help anyone to evolve.
      The daily practice of meditation in Tibetan yoga has helped you to understand and heal yourself. The many years of ayuhasca work and therapeutic journeys also helped him a lot to transcend his limits. It has been a great challenge to re-educate yourself, to reinvent yourself by transforming old patterns, but today you can more than understand, feel sex as a blessing, a divine gift of health, vigor and joy: without hurting anyone, with affection, a lot of cuddling , connection and responsibility is a healthy manifestation of Love. A powerful life boost.

      Dionysos, deity of ancient Greece – symbol of theater, dance, ecstasy, catharsis and transcendence. Far beyond the Roman image of drunkenness and orgies, as Nietzsche warned us; Dr Carl Jung and the Brazilian psychiatrist, Dr Nise da Silveira, taught us.

      Come to us the Dionysian energy that, in the path of enlightenment, rescues and balances us from the excess of rationality of the current world, of so much rigor in the discipline, so much fear of instinct and distance from the body.

      Consciousness, courage to live, perfect health, fullness in love and lots of joy.

      Long live Aphrodite,
      Eros and Dionysus!

      1. I beg pardon for my poor english. Some expressions and feelings are better expressed in our own language. I couldn’t make a version acceptable. The photos went beyond what I chose, sorry. Due to my little experience with the tool. Regarding the text, you can leave only the last one I’ve send, and a this painting I’ve done some years ago studying Dionysos. I have found great reflections in these pages. Thank you very much.

    1. We met years ago. For a long time we were just friends: we talked, both of us were just interested in each other’s lives. We knew that eventually, sex could be part of our friendship, but nothing was forced upon.
      Four a couple of years we lost contact and since about a year we started to see again. Sex started to be an intense part of our meetings. Slowly, I felt a liberation from my fears. He is a well endowed man and in my mindset, penetration was something I didn’t want to do. Too painful, but the real reason was that I felt completely vulnerable if penetrated. What “if” this was another touch and go experience? I didn’t want to trust just for nothing.
      We are both versatile and with an extreme care, he started to make me abandon my fears. Slowly, carefully, thinking in my pleasure and not only his. I surrendered completely. But not only.
      He made me trust back in my own ability to hold and erection to penetrate him. It was my fear not to be able to, for a number of physical and psychological reasons (they usually come in pairs).
      With him, I have experienced such a joy, such a profound liberation, such a complete feeling of masculinity I can hardly believe it existed. I have cried my guts with him. We have both grown as men, we both love each other.
      And we don’t demand anything but respect and sincerity. Just that.
      He accepts me with all I am and all I have. We are dearest friends, partners. We are not and don’t want to be a couple.
      I have built my life as a married man. It is my choice and I don’t owe any explanation to anybody.
      At the same time, I do deserve to be happy with all I am and with all my feelings.
      I am the happiest man on Earth

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