When I say study I mean I bought a few books done quite a lot of research on the internet and also attended workshops in London and Amsterdam. It changed me. I am different to the extent that I am more connected to my “spirituality”, and that’s the problem I have with Tantra. I started to hide behind the philosophy. I would talk about not cumming for weeks and how I was Master of my own sexuality. Even though I thought many of the books I had bought and read were basically full of crap and that whoever wrote them would have been better of having sex than writing about it, I still continued to buy more. They looked impressive on my newly growing collection of books that were placed in my sitting room for everyone to see. And as I learned I sold. The central teaching of Tantra is that everything is an illusion, that we see things through our own eyes only. Someone else can look at exactly the same thing and see it differently. Tantrikas (people who practise Tantra) see everything as sacred. It destroys concepts like that a church is more holy than a bathroom. Everywhere is holy. And therefore all things are “God” (Brahman). You must take control and responsibility within your life. Your sexuality is yours. If you want to fuck everyone you meet — do it. But don’t make excuses, and don’t say it’s for spiritual reasons. Do it. If you don’t want to do that, and you want to be more restrained — do that — and don’t allow your sexuality to control you. Your cock is your power, Your heart and mind and soul.

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